i'm feeling lost.
i'm losing myself too.

i just dun feel truly happy anymore.
i can go out, smile, laugh and joke with my friends but i am just not happy.
i feel lost all the time.
i dun have directions, i am not doing what i like and basically, internship is not good either.
and because of this internship, i wonder what can i do in the future.
seriously, office work is not for me.
but about my course? not exactly for me as well.
i know what i want, but nothing i am doing now will get me anywhere there.

as time passes everyday, growing older every second, everything's getting more difficult.
in the earlier part of this year, i was still quite carefree. though i think, but it's not till this extend that everything is worrying me and giving me stress uneccessarily. this sucks man, seriously. it's the same all the time, every year. once something goes wrong, everything else goes wrong. but right now i'm just so good at pretending that when people dunno me well enough, they dunno that something is wrong with me. life goes on, but it sucks to live the life i am living now. dunno wth you are doing, dunno why you cant feel happy anymore, even with the friends you love. even food doesnt taste as good. everything's just dull. nothing makes me happy. Singing songs makes me feel even worst. you know how it feels when every song you sing just makes you cry if there're anything you can relate to in the lyrics? it sucks. and you are not allowed to cry.

how strong am i actually?

how to stop.
how to stop.
how to stop.

stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop.
STOP!


where are you....